Story of my Life

So, yeah, it's like that.

One Man's Perspective

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,

but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs,

that it may benefit those who listen.”

(Ephesians 4:29)

This isn’t an easy subject to talk about, and since I am personally going through some of this right now, I do need to be mindful of what I say and how I say it. However, I do plan to be straight forward and direct, so if you are offended or put off by anything mentioned here, well, that is probably a good thing.


One thing I think that most of us can agree with is that men are basically stupid. Don’t get upset. God made us that way from the very beginning. I know you gals won’t argue with me on that one.


It all started way back in the Garden when God declared that it is not good for man to be alone. Any woman who has gone away for any amount of time and entrusted a man to stay home and take care of her houseplants can attest to that. Think about it – God put a man in charge of the entire Garden of Eden! It could be one of the reasons why God said that isn’t really a good idea for man to be alone. (yes, I know it has more to do with the fact that all the animals had mates and man didn’t, but bear with me, okay?)


God knew all about us men from the very beginning. So God decided to make a helper suitable for the man.


So, God made the woman since it really isn’t good for us guys to be alone. But you need to understand how God did it. You know that Eve was created from one of Adam’s ribs, right? You knew that. But do you remember what God did before he took that rib from the man? You guessed it. He caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. Now, I challenge anyone to find anywhere in the rest of the Bible where it says that man ever woke up.


Throughout scripture you will find verses that say things “Arise O sleeper…” (even in Ephesians 5:14). Even Jesus quoted that saying from the Old Testament. I really think He was talking about us! Jesus had to ask His disciples if they could stay awake with him for even one hour! Wake up guys!


So maybe that is why God had to make a helper for the man. We need help. Your husband may be a highly educated man, with a great career and with high standing in the community, but we just are not designed to make it all on our own.


And as for not being to altogether bright, I heard that even Mrs. Einstein was known to say things like, “Albert, you’re such an idiot!”


So here are some suggestions to help you two get along a little better. I know beyond any doubt that these things would have been a great help in my own life.

Okay guys, admit it, whenever there is a disagreement or an argument, who is at fault 90% of the time? Yep, that’s right. We are! Remember what it says in Ephesians 5, and 1 Peter 3? Have you done all you can to lift her up, make her holy, keep her washed clean through the Word? Can you present her to Christ as radiant, without stain or wrinkle, but holy and blameless? Yes, it says blameless. Blameless. The onus is on us. The men.


Did you love her as you love yourself? It doesn’t matter if she started it or if she is being totally unreasonable, you are to love her as Christ loves us.


Remember, the first part of the passage in Ephesians 5 tells us to “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”


Then it says that the wife should submit to her husband. That is all it says to the woman. It is all that needs to be said. The woman gets it, she doesn’t need to hear any more.


The man however, needs a bit more direction and explanation, so the next several verses tell him what he specifically needs to do. Keep her holy and blameless, washed, clean, lift her up, present her to Christ as radiant, without stain or wrinkle or blemish. Love her as you love yourself!  (We have to be told!)


And ladies, are you loving your husband like the Bible tells you too? Remember, the last part of the last verse of Ephesians 5 is what ties it all together. “….and the wife must respect her husband”. It doesn’t say that the wife shall, which would make it a command, but it says must. You must respect him, even when you don’t feel like it. It is what makes all of his efforts worthwhile.


Please note that this scripture only tells the wife to do one thing – respect her husband (the submit thing is a part of that), but the rest of that passage is an instruction to the husband to behave in such a way as to give her good reason to respect him!


Do you see it yet? It is a team effort! You both have to do your part in order for it to work. But the main part of making it all work for the good of the team falls on the woman. I’m serious about this. But ladies, you need to know a few things before you start throwing dishes at me.


Ladies, we love you. We really do, but please, talk to us. One of the main reasons for marital problems, that I read, is a lack of communication. We cannot read your mind. We would sure appreciate it if you would tell us specifically what it is that you are thinking and what it is that you want. Subtle hints don’t always work, and even flat out telling us sometimes doesn’t register, so you may need to tell us again. But please be nice about it. And remember, the way you say something is more often more important that the words you use. Please speak sweetly, the way you did back when you were trying to get him to notice you.


We know you women enjoy conversation, but most men don’t need all that much. Just because your husband doesn’t say anything doesn’t mean he isn’t speaking to you.


Did he bring you flowers for no reason? Did he open your door for you? Did he help you on with your coat, or hold your chair for you, and remember to put the seat down? (Guys, are you paying attention here?) Did he help with the dishes, help take care of the kids, help out around the house so you don’t feel like a maid? (seriously guys, are you paying attention?!?) While you were sitting together in church, did he reach over and touch or hold your hand? He may not have said more than two words in any of that, but his actions spoke volumes. Were you listening?


Guys, I know it isn’t easy, but please try to use a few more words than just a belch and “Good dinner, Hon”. Women need more than that. They need to feel loved, with kind words and non-sexual affection. But mostly – do stuff for her. Help her out.


And ladies, please understand if you don’t already, your man needs to feel appreciated. Just a few simple words of affirmation go a really long way. Affirm him. You’ll be glad you did.


The bottom line here folks is simply this: Be nice to each other.


Do nice things for your spouse without expecting anything in return. You may be amazed at the response.



[Naturally, if there are problems in your marriage that go beyond all of this, you should seek counseling (talk to your pastor or a professional counselor). But please, do NOT seek advice from your “friends”. Go straight to someone who will actually help you.]






Blessings.

Be kind and compassionate to one another,

forgiving each other,

just as in Christ God forgave you.

(Ephesians 4:32)

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,

not looking to your own interests

but each of you to the interests of the others.

(Philippians 2:3)

No Fear

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,

and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” (Proverbs 9:10)

Now, I certainly do not proclaim to be wise, nor do I claim to have knowledge or understanding of the Holy One, rather, I consider myself to be a full-time, long-term, struggling student of the Word.

I have been in the church for 49 years now. I gave my life to Christ 36 years ago, so suffice it to say that I have heard a great many sermons on many different subjects. It is also safe to assume that I have sat through more than my fair share of sermons on tithing and giving. Putting money in the plate on Sunday morning seemed natural to me since, well basically, on Sunday morning that is just what you do. But I had always put in a dollar or two or whatever my grandfather gave me to put in there. And I never really thought much about it.

I continued to “tithe” during my early adult years, but it was still always an embarrassingly small amount. I can still remember the day when I learned that the word “tithe” means ten percent. But I didn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed, I felt fear. How could I give a full ten percent when I have a wife and child at home, while attending college full time, and we barely get by as it is? I increased my giving a little bit but it was still nowhere near ten percent. I’d heard someone say that God values your time more than He does your money, so I began volunteering my time at church. Sometimes I had even used that as an excuse for not tithing.

Once I finished college and began my career, I heard a pastor explain how “tithing” is an Old Testament requirement and that Jesus changed all that when He came here. According to Jesus’ teaching in the New Testament, He wants it ALL. 100%. All of your time, all of your heart, all of your mind and body, all of your soul, all of your spirit, and as for money – it is His to begin with. He merely allows us to manage it for Him. And according to the lessons in Crown Financial Ministries, He lets us use 90% to live on. It ALL belongs to God anyway. In fact, everything we think we own belongs to God, He just lets us use it.

Well, ten percent was still a lot of money to me, so I volunteered even more time at church and increased my giving to what I considered to be a comfortable level, but still way short of ten percent. And, although I consider myself to be thrifty and manage money wisely, I have still struggled financially.

I came to Northview in December of 2004, and became a member soon after. So it has been six full years since I first heard Pastor Steve’s annual tithing challenge, where he quoted from Malachi 3. You see, my only desire is to please God and live my life for Christ, but I had never thought of myself as robbing from God. I work hard for a living and earn my own way and provide for my family. But still, times were hard and the idea of tithing a full ten percent seemed like a lot to ask, but then Steve quoted “Test Me in this”, says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”

So I signed the card and took Steve up on his challenge. I did the math and wrote that first check for the full ten percent. I could not help but think that a whole month’s worth of those tithe checks added up to a really nice car payment! But I stayed the course and waited patiently for God’s blessing to pour out all over me. But things did not get better for me financially, they got worse! I remember thinking about Steve’s challenge and that money back guarantee, and thought of how much all that money could really help me out. I also remembered the lessons from Crown Financial Ministries in that it all belongs to God anyway, so there was no way I was going call and ask for that money. The challenge was for only 90 days, but I had decided to give it a full year, in case God was also testing me in patience.

Each year Steve laid down the same challenge, and each year I signed that card and gave the full ten percent. But each year my financial situation did not improve. My savings account was depleted, and there were times when I feared I could not get to work since I could not afford to put gas in my truck. There were days when I drove on fumes and a prayer. And just like Mother Hubbard, often times the cupboards were bare. I had to borrow money and use credit cards just to stay afloat.  (another thing you are not supposed to do!)

I found myself unemployed for a few months in 2007, but God did provide and I was able to find a new job at basically the same salary as before. And although those few months of unemployment brought a lot of problems for me financially, as soon as I started my new job, I resumed tithing as well. But those blessings still did not come. But now I was also haunted by the debt accrued during unemployment.

During all of this, I still had a rather dim view about tithing. I was not a cheerful giver and I found no joy at all in giving money to the church, let alone adding the Next Chapter campaign on top of it. I still gave, but I was giving grudgingly. And around this time every year, Pastor Steve presents his tithing challenge with the guarantee that God will pour out blessings. But the blessings still did not come. I was getting rather frustrated. “Okay God, I’m ready! Here’s your check. I’m ready to receive those blessings now!”

Nothing.

I saw tithing and giving as a chore and I realized that I was only in it to get something out of it. I wanted those blessings God had promised in Malachi 3. But the blessings were not coming. It was also during this time that I met another fellow in our church whose financial situation had been worse than mine. He told me that he had reached the point of turning everything over to God and telling God, “I’ll trust You all the way to zero”.

Those words struck me very deeply, and I decided to do something I should have done from the very beginning – I decided to pray and turn over my whole heart, including my finances, over to the One who provided them in the first place. “Seek first His Kingdom…..” Yeah, I remembered that memory verse from Sunday School. “…….and all these things will be added unto you”. What things? ALL things. All my needs, all the necessities of life. All of the blessings He had promised. From the Crown Financial Ministries course, I understood the difference between needs and wants, but I was still struggling.

You see, I was being obedient, as He instructs me to do in His Word, but my heart was in the wrong place. I wasn’t doing it for Him, I was doing it for me! So I asked God to change my heart, and offered myself to Him as His humble servant. I asked Him to help me live my life in a way that is pleasing to Him.

I also prayed, “Lord, I trust You all the way to zero”. And sure enough, God took me all the way to zero, sometimes below zero, but He always provided and brought me back up. I learned to appreciate what He gave me. I also learned to live on a very small budget.

Just over a year ago, things began to change. Certain financial situations began to turn and go my way a little. Not much, but just enough to where there was a little bit left over at the end of the month. Financially, I was no longer suffocating and I could breathe a little better. I also began sponsoring a child in Indonesia through Compassion International. What a blessing! I was even able to complete my Next Chapter pledge early, and give a little extra as well.

Then a job opportunity opened up at work and I applied for it. There had been a salary freeze at work for the last several years, so there had been no raises, even though the cost of living had increased. God blessed me with the new job, which meant a promotion and a small raise. I remember my first thought as being, “Wow, I get to tithe more! Now I can do something for someone else!” I was genuinely excited, but then asked myself “Where did that thought come from? That certainly doesn’t sound like me!” I thanked God for the blessing and for changing my heart.

And the blessings started. Not a lot, but small abundances. I noticed that each one of those abundances were also accompanied by an opportunity. An opportunity to help someone else in need.

Sometimes I laugh at the fact that the opportunity to help someone out financially, was the exact amount of the abundance that God provided. My greatest joy in doing something for someone is that they never find out where the gift came from. As long as God gets the glory, I’m okay with that. He is the One responsible after all.

I was still under a mountain of debt, but that mountain was shrinking. God is so good. I have learned a lot from this experience and it took a whole lot longer than 90 days to see God working and to realize His blessings. The “floodgates” haven’t opened up and I certainly do have room for more blessings, but God will take care of that in His own time.

My heart and my attitude have changed in regards to tithing. I get paid every two weeks, and it happens electronically. So I have set up reminders on my Outlook calendar for each of those days. On payday, I log onto the Northview website, and pay my tithe electronically. It is the first thing I do on payday. Ten percent from the “first fruits”. I budget the rest of the month from there. There is gas in the truck, food in the fridge, and every once in a while I can afford to go play a round of golf.

And that mountain of debt? This time next month, with the exception of the mortgage, I will be debt free. One more payment to go. I can hardly wait to see what opportunity He presents to me then.

God is so good.

I’ve never been irresponsible with money. I’ve always disliked spending it, especially on myself. So frivolous spending and poor money management was not the problem (my truck is 13 years old and was paid off 11 years ago). What I needed was an attitude adjustment and a heart transplant. And that fear I mentioned earlier, has now turned to joy.

God is good – all the time!  And for Re:Imagine - my pledge is twice the amount I gave to "The Next Chapter".  God made that possible too.

Since God has proven Himself to be faithful, true to His Word, and that He will meet my every need, I asked Him to allow me to win the lottery to prove to Him that all that money will not change me.

Have you ever heard what sounds like uncontrollable laughter from heaven?

Yeah. It is a lot like that.

Blessings.

Aetheists ain't got no songs!

A Compendium of Religious Music Resources (Steve Martin Edition) - Mind the Gap

Turn up your speakers.
You are going to love this!!

My Daddy Can Fix Anything!

I was reminded recently of when my daughter was just a little girl. I can still remember that four year old little face, with tears in her eyes, walking up to me with a broken toy in her outstretched arms. “Daddy, can you fix this for me?”. I told her I would do my best, and I took her toy to my workshop out in the garage. A little while later I handed it back to her, good as new. I cannot tell you how much joy I felt inside as her eyes lit up, and she squealed, “Thank you Daddy!”, and then ran off to play with her toy.

We were living in an older home then that was in much need of repair, and it was during this time that I was able to learn and hone much of my handyman skills. It took some time, but by the time we finished, most of that old house looked brand new. Many times my children brought me broken things to repair, and sometimes to my own amazement, I was able to repair them. We taught our children to be polite and to say “please” and “thank you”, but it is hard to tell at such young ages if they really appreciated things or not.


It wasn’t until one of my friends had asked if I could bring my tools over to his house to help him fix something, when I heard my little girl loudly exclaim, “Sure he can. My Daddy can fix anything!” I had no idea she was listening, but it did feel good to know that my daughter believed that about me.


I hadn’t thought of that for quite some time. Recently I had been going through some of life’s trials and was feeling the heavy burden of despair. I had been taking for granted that I could indeed fix just about anything. I can do most home repairs and if something is made of wood, I’m your man. I am involved in various ministries and over the years have learned to work with people, calming storms, settling disputes, helping others reach a common ground. I enjoy fixing all sorts of things. But this time, emotionally, spiritually, I was getting beat up pretty bad. I had reached a breaking point and I had no idea what to do next.


I had been praying about this issue all along, but I had been asking God to make things the way I wanted them, instead of allowing Him to do it His way.


Finally, during one of my quiet times, alone with God, I gave it all to Him. Now, my kind of “quiet time” with God isn’t always quiet. Yes, sometimes it is when I am sitting in my comfortable chair alone with my Bible, but many times it is when I am busy mowing my yard or building something or working on a project in my garage. It was during one of those noisy quiet times, when I could hear my little girl’s voice shouting, “My Daddy can fix anything!” The mere thought of that sweet little girl repeating those words made me smile and brought warmth to my heart as those memories flooded back into my mind.

As I thought back to those early days, I heard another voice, that still, small voice you read about in the Bible. It was calm and reassuring, and I could almost feel a gentle hand on my shoulder as He said, “My Daddy can fix anything.” I immediately stopped what I was doing and fell to my knees. I knew all too well Who was speaking to me.


I began to pray and begged God to forgive me. I wept almost uncontrollably and called Him “Daddy”. I swept up all my problems, all those things that I could not fix, in my arms and I approached the throne and laid them down at the feet of Jesus. I could not look up, I couldn’t even look at His feet, and I cried, “Daddy, I can’t fix this. I am giving it all over to You to do with as You will. Please forgive me for being so selfish and wanting to have things my own way, instead of Yours”.
I stood up, turned around and walked away, leaving it all at Jesus’ feet.


I’ve seen some results since then, changes in things that could only come from the Holy Spirit working in people’s lives. I have no idea how things will turn out, but I have decided that whatever makes my Heavenly Father happy, makes me happy.



Blessings.

Humble yourselves, therefore,

under God's mighty hand,

that He may lift you up in due time.

Cast all your anxiety on Him

because He cares for you.

(1 Peter 5:6-7)

The Best Joke Book Around....

If you are looking for a collection of good, clean jokes that you can openly tell in church, then you need The Official Alpha Dude Joke Book.

I like to make people laugh, or at least smile. I don’t care if people are laughing with me or at me. As long as they are laughing, that means they are experiencing at least the slightest bit of joy, even if only for a moment.

I know it isn’t my job to make people happy, but I try to at least make them feel good while I have the chance.

One thing I’ve learned since I was asked to be the Alpha Dude, is that people like to laugh. They also like to share their own bits of humor with me as well. Also, the ministry Director likes to open each session with a joke. Some of them are actually funny (and some are not). I’ve tried my best to only include the funny ones here. So go ahead, sit back and enjoy the ride.

If you like what you see here, share the joy.

I had posted this once before, a long time ago.
However, the formatting was terrible when I converted it for printing.
All that has been corrected and the book is now "new and improved" (so no one can get into any trouble).
Crazy Deb, since you bought a weirded formatted copy, you get this one for free.
(send me your address and I'll send it right out to you, but keep this between just us, okay?  I wouldn't everyone else to get jealous)

For the rest of you, you can buy the book by clicking on this link, or by clicking on the book cover over there on the right side of this page.

Blessings,

Alpha Dude

The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

The Bible Story - as written by a child.........


In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas.

The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.

Then God made the world. He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbors stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.

There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats.

Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.