Friday, September 26, 2008


I apologize for not being around much lately. That crazy thing called "life" keeps happening.
The positive side to that is that I have a lot to write about. The negative side is that I don't have a lot of time to sit down and write it.

So in the the meantime, since part of my job is to write specifications for various construction projects, I thought I'd share a little something with you.



The work we want did is clearly showed on attached plans and specifications. Our Engineer, whose had plenty of College, spent one hell of a lot of time when he drawed up these here plans and specifications. But nobody cant think of everything.
Once your bid is in, that’s it, Brother! From then on, anything wanted by our Engineer, or any of his friends, or anybody else (except the Bidder) shall be considered as showed, specified, or implied and be provided by the Bidder without expense to nobody but himself (meaning the Bidder).

Extra Costs
If the work is did without no extra Expense to the Bidder, then the work will be took down and did again until the extra expense to Contractor is satisfactory to our Engineer.

Our Engineer’s plans are right as drawed. If sumpthin is drawed wrong, it shall be discovered by the Bidder, corrected and did right with no extra expense to us. It won’t cut no ice with us, or our Engineer, if you point out any mistakes our Engineer has drawed. If you do, it will be one hell of a long time before you do any more work for us or him (meaning the Engineer).

Vendor Conduct
The Bidder is not supposed to make fun of our Engineer, his plans, or the kinda work we’re having done. If he do, it’s just too damn bad for him (meaning the Bidder).
Any Bidder walking around the job with a smile on his face shall be subject to a review of his bid.

If the Bidder don’t find all our Engineer’s mistakes before he bids on the job, or if the Bidder ain’t got enough sense to know that our Engineer’s gonna think up a bunch of new stuff that’s going to have to be did before the job is completed, then it’s just to damn bad for him (meaning the Bidder).

The Bidder has got to use good stuff on this job – none of that crap from Japan.
We done picked the best stuff for our client and won't let no cheep stuff be approved to save the Contractor money.

Value engineering and substitutions is alright as long as the cost savings go to the engineering budget or adds more purty do-dads to the project.

We don't take to no crybabies. Once you done bid this job you got no one but yourself to blame, especially the engineer or his client. Arguing with the engineer is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, after a while you’re going to learn he really enjoys it.

Questions and Answers

We have not succeeded in answering all your questions. Indeed we sometimes feel we have not answered any of them. The answers we have found have only served to raise a whole set of new questions. In some ways we feel that we are as confused as ever, but we think we are confused on a higher level and about more important things.

1 comment:

EE said...

LOL! I got a kick out of these!!