Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Another Christmas Gone!

And I am so thankful.

I mean, Christmastime always made me a little nervous. Over the many years, I have come to learn what Christmas is really all about. It is about celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is also a season of giving. And, as a kid, it was the giving that bothered me.

When I was a kid, there were no i-pods, or game-boys or any other types of video games. The types of gifts we got were those paddle ball games. Remember them? It was a small wooden paddle with a red rubber ball attached to a rubber string that was stapled to the paddle. I imagine we looked pretty goofy trying bounce that ball off that paddle. Well, once the string broke (and we never did find that stupid ball), Mom would write our name on the paddle and hang it on a hook in the kitchen. Yeah, we each had our own personal paddle, so whenever we got a spanking, we got spanked with our very own personalized paddle.

Not that I was a bad kid or anything, but the strangest thing I ever got spank with was…”Hot Wheels” tracks. Yep, momma raised a few speed bumps on my backside.
She must have smacked me hard one time, because one day, all of a sudden, it occurred to me…”Dude……you’re being spanked……. With your own toys!”

My life changed after that. Each Christmas, Sears would put out a catalog called the “Christmas Wish Book”. Mom would pass it around to each of us kids and we were to circle the items on our “Wish List” with a pen and dog-ear that page. I started circling things like socks, or underwear. One year, I even circled a pair of Bermuda shorts! (Yes, it was a long time ago).

Mom insisted I chose some toys, but I told her, “No, thank you. I don’t want anything. I don’t even need the socks. I’m fine. Really!

My parents were so proud. They thought that I had figured out the true meaning of Christmas and that I was becoming “spiritual”. Little did they know that it had more to do with self-preservation that anything else.

(I am so glad I never got that wood-burning kit I wanted!)

But, that was then, and this is now (which was also my favorite book in Junior High).

Now I have other reasons for dreading Christmas. Don’t get me wrong. My favorite time of the year is standing at our big picture window, next to our decorated Christmas Tree, watching the snow fall in our front yard while sipping a cup of hot chocolate.

I just get tired of all of the commercialism and greediness that comes along with the season.

I also don’t care much for hearing the tone of my daughter’s voice on the phone which tells me she is saddened that she didn’t get anything from her daddy at Christmas. Oh, I sent her some gifts. I made sure they were there before Christmas so she’d have them Christmas morning, but her mother said my package didn’t arrive. Strange that had a delivery confirmation from the post office proving that the package DID arrive on time. I guess it suffered the same fate as all those cards and letters I sent her, and the telephone messages that “disappeared” from their answering machine.

I really wanted her to be able to open her gifts on Christmas morning since I designed them myself. You can see them here.

I still don’t know if she’s received anything yet. I haven’t been able to get her on the phone. Her mother is doing all she can to kill our relationship, and it is killing me.

I have high hopes for 2008. It is starting out a little rough, but I know God loves me and will take care of me. He is in control, so I'll keep on trusting in Him.

I sat down tonight on the couch to eat my dinner (Catherine makes a great salad and baked potato) and I turned on the TV. There was old episode of “Reba” on. It was the one about when her youngest daughter wanted to move out of the house and Reba prayed. “God, please don’t let me lose my daughter”.

Yeah, I know exactly how she feels.

I don’t normally tear up over a sitcom, but that one got me.

I think the best Birthday Present we could give Jesus each Christmas would be if we could all just get along and show Christ’s love for each other, even when we don’t want to.

What do you think?



my4kids said...

I'm sorry that your ex is doing that to you and your daughter. That is really a horrible thing.
Kelly's brother Josh is living with us for the moment and his kids are back in Portland and his ex is doing some very similar things. It's all so frustrating.

I hope you have a better 2008!

That Chick Over There said...

That makes me really sad. I'm sorry for you and even more sorry for your daughter.

I've often wished that my ex-husband would have just taken the time to get to know Boy and Girl Child, but he never bothered. It's a shame that you make all this effort and get shot down.

CrazyDeb said...

A little bit ago you wrote a blog on child abuse. You want to know what I think? I think your ex is abusing your daughter! She has the right to know how much you love her, to feel loved by her Dad, and to spend time with you. Your ex is doing damage to her that will last for years to come. Sorry, this just made me really, really mad! I've come to respect and love you Alpha Dude and your daughter has way more of a right to have those feelings than I. Someday your daughter will know all that you did (SAVE that delivery confirmation, etc.) and her mother will feel the sting of her actions. I'm praying for you, for your daughter, and even your ex.

The Old Fart said...

A very moving post, I will pray that your daughter will be able to get to know her dad.

Blessings for a new year.

PS I remember the Christmas Wish Book, every year I'd want a train set.

EE said...

I used to get spanked with the yard stick...only after I started laughing when my mom spanked me with her hand (yeah, I was not very bright). My sister would start the tears before the hand would even hit her back side (she was the smart one).
I'm sorry to hear that your ex is still acting this way. Someday, your daughter will see what her mother is doing.
Keep doing what you're doing. You're a great dad!!!

CrazyDeb said...

Me again. I've calmed down and read your post again and now want to comment on how smart you were for choosing clothes! You brought back memories of going through the catalogs and marking things we wanted. Thanks!!!

Dr.John said...

From what I have seen as a Pastor what your wife is doing will backfire and cause her pain in the long run. Just keep praying and trust God.

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Real Life in South Carolina said...

You do have a good point. I thing the greatest gift we could give Jesus is to share his love with those around us.

I'm sorry things are so difficult with your ex. I'm praying that even if she continues to act so selfishly, that your daughter will eventually be able to see through that and know that you tried.

EE said...

Are you ok, dude? We miss you!