It was a dark and stormy night......
Okay, not really (I just always wanted to start a story like that).
It is early afternoon. The sky just went dark
The sun was shining brightly this morning and the temperature was quite warm and pleasant. But over the last hour or so, the sky has grown increasingly dark. Dark enough that the street lights have come on. And then the rain came. Hard. I can see lightening flashing on the horizon.
The weatherman was right today. We’re getting those severe thunder storms he warned us about.
It is that time of year again. That “April Showers” time of year. This storm reminded me of when this happened, right about this same time last year.
I am still trying to get grass to grow in the bare spot in the front yard.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Saturday, March 31, 2007
My...Mission Statement
It has been said that the sins of the father shall be revisited on his children. One man’s sins can have a ripple effect that can expand to at least four generations. This is why I have chosen to make a constant conscious decision to “break the cycle”. (Dave Simmons seminar and books).
This is not easy. It requires a daily commitment to not repeat the mistakes made by my father. I have chosen to follow the example of my heavenly Father (through His Word).
In my own family, I have chosen to follow God’s example by being
1) Slow to anger,
2) Gracious,
3) Compassionate and
4) Abounding in Love.
As a husband, I have chosen to honor my wife and lift her up daily, to God, clean and unblemished. To love her unconditionally, and completely and to remain faithful to her only. To be a “One Woman Man”. I have burned my ships, and continue to burn my ships daily. Semper Fidelis.
As a father, I have chosen to love my children and to raise them up in the teachings of the Lord “that they may never part from it”. One of the greatest gifts I received from God when I was very young was the earthly example in my stepfather. I will consider myself a success as a Dad if, as the song says, I can be “half the man he didn’t have to be”.
As a servant of the Most High God, as a man of God, I would like to be remembered, like David, as a man who sought after God’s own heart. I desire to serve only Him and to live my life in a manner that would bring glory to Him on a daily basis. What I do for a living doesn’t matter. How much money I make doesn’t matter. The size of my house doesn’t matter. It all takes a back seat to Christ.
I desire to be, like James and John, a Son of Thunder. I have decided to make as much noise as I can for the cause of Christ. That everyone I meet will be exposed to the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I desire that when people meet me, they will have met Christ. Because I am a child of the King, made in His image, when people meet me, I want them to recognize Him, before they recognize me.
By divine appointment, I am the spiritual leader of my household. I am, scripturally, the example of God’s teachings to my wife and my children.
Yet I was born a sinner. I have been redeemed by the cleansing blood of Jesus and have my name written in the Book of Life. But because of my sinful nature, I often, daily, stumble and fall. Desires, intentions, wants and best laid plans are not enough. Please, pray for me to continue making that constant conscious daily decision to follow my Savior and pattern my life after Him.
God is good. Life is good. The rest is just details.
This is not easy. It requires a daily commitment to not repeat the mistakes made by my father. I have chosen to follow the example of my heavenly Father (through His Word).
In my own family, I have chosen to follow God’s example by being
1) Slow to anger,
2) Gracious,
3) Compassionate and
4) Abounding in Love.
As a husband, I have chosen to honor my wife and lift her up daily, to God, clean and unblemished. To love her unconditionally, and completely and to remain faithful to her only. To be a “One Woman Man”. I have burned my ships, and continue to burn my ships daily. Semper Fidelis.
As a father, I have chosen to love my children and to raise them up in the teachings of the Lord “that they may never part from it”. One of the greatest gifts I received from God when I was very young was the earthly example in my stepfather. I will consider myself a success as a Dad if, as the song says, I can be “half the man he didn’t have to be”.
As a servant of the Most High God, as a man of God, I would like to be remembered, like David, as a man who sought after God’s own heart. I desire to serve only Him and to live my life in a manner that would bring glory to Him on a daily basis. What I do for a living doesn’t matter. How much money I make doesn’t matter. The size of my house doesn’t matter. It all takes a back seat to Christ.
I desire to be, like James and John, a Son of Thunder. I have decided to make as much noise as I can for the cause of Christ. That everyone I meet will be exposed to the saving grace of Jesus Christ. I desire that when people meet me, they will have met Christ. Because I am a child of the King, made in His image, when people meet me, I want them to recognize Him, before they recognize me.
By divine appointment, I am the spiritual leader of my household. I am, scripturally, the example of God’s teachings to my wife and my children.
Yet I was born a sinner. I have been redeemed by the cleansing blood of Jesus and have my name written in the Book of Life. But because of my sinful nature, I often, daily, stumble and fall. Desires, intentions, wants and best laid plans are not enough. Please, pray for me to continue making that constant conscious daily decision to follow my Savior and pattern my life after Him.
God is good. Life is good. The rest is just details.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
About Kids....mostly
Pretend
Y’all have kids? Kids are great, aren’t they?
They can provide so much entertainment, just by being themselves.
One day, several years ago, after all the Saturday morning chores were done, I sat down on the couch near an open window, to read the morning paper. I could hear my 7 year old little girl out on the back patio playing with one of her friends. Well, they weren’t actually playing as much as they were just talking. From the conversation I overheard, I assume they were playing “pretend”.
The reason I assumed they were playing “pretend” is because that’s all they talked about! “Pretend I am a beautiful princess and pretend you are a mean old witch and pretend you poisoned me and pretend I died and pretend I came back to life and pretend you didn’t know it and pretend I……”
This went on for what seemed like all morning!
I remember thinking to myself “Holy Crap! Play already!” I mean, when we were kids, we all played “pretend”. Right? But no one ever actually used the word “Pretend”. We played Cowboys and Indians, or Cops and Robbers or some other type of thing. But we just did it!
“I’m the good guy!”
“You’re the bad guy!”
“Bang! Bang!”
“I shot you!”
“No you didn’t. You missed me by a mile!”
(He was lying. I really did get him).
You found a stick and it became your gun, or your sword or whatever. And we played.
But these two girls? They never actually got around to “playing”. They just sat there talking about it! Good grief, if I had recorded the entire ordeal, we would have a script for a daytime soap to last at least a week! I just don’t understand where that stuff comes from.
Certainly not from me!
That same year, my daughter’s mother and I had been married for 16 years. So, on our anniversary I took her out to a nice romantic dinner, real table cloths, cloth napkins, the waiter wore a tie, we went dancing and had a wonderful romantic evening.
We had arranged for the kids to stay at the grandparents house, so when we got home that night, we got ready for bed, she slid in under the sheets, snuggled up real close, and with a soft sweet voice, said,
“Oh Honey. This evening was wonderful. Dinner was perfect and you danced divinely.
And now…
And now....
pretend that we were just intimate and pretend it was really great and pretend you’re really tired and pretend that…..”
(Have I mentioned that this woman is now my ex-wife?)
Daddy?
Kids really make you think, don’t they? Things change over time but I guess we dads just don’t notice it. For instance, when your kids are small, you are their hero. No matter what, those kids love spending time with “Daddy”.
Up until about the age of 10, you are Daddy.
During those junior high years, you somehow become just “Dad”.
Halfway through high school you hear them tell their friends “Hey, gotta go. There’s my ride.”
(So now I’m just their ride?)
When they get into college its “Dude, do you mind? My friends are here!”
I suppose the next time I get a name change, she’ll be calling me “Gramps”, or something.
One of the greatest sounds I know of is when I hear my children say, “I love you, Daddy.”
I sure do miss those days of being called “Daddy”.
You know what I’ve noticed?
You just can’t say the word “Daddy” without the sound of love in your voice. Maybe that’s why the Bible refers to God, our Heavenly Father, as “Abba”. Abba means “Daddy”. And that’s how God wants us to be when we speak to Him. Even Jesus referred to God as “Daddy”.
The Bible says we are to be child-like in our faith, so when we talk to God, it is okay to call Him “Daddy”.
After all, who else can you trust more than Daddy? Daddy is there to protect you, comfort you and take care of you. In your greatest time of need, you can always count on Daddy.
I enjoy spending time with my “Abba, Daddy”.
Blessings....
Y’all have kids? Kids are great, aren’t they?
They can provide so much entertainment, just by being themselves.
One day, several years ago, after all the Saturday morning chores were done, I sat down on the couch near an open window, to read the morning paper. I could hear my 7 year old little girl out on the back patio playing with one of her friends. Well, they weren’t actually playing as much as they were just talking. From the conversation I overheard, I assume they were playing “pretend”.
The reason I assumed they were playing “pretend” is because that’s all they talked about! “Pretend I am a beautiful princess and pretend you are a mean old witch and pretend you poisoned me and pretend I died and pretend I came back to life and pretend you didn’t know it and pretend I……”
This went on for what seemed like all morning!
I remember thinking to myself “Holy Crap! Play already!” I mean, when we were kids, we all played “pretend”. Right? But no one ever actually used the word “Pretend”. We played Cowboys and Indians, or Cops and Robbers or some other type of thing. But we just did it!
“I’m the good guy!”
“You’re the bad guy!”
“Bang! Bang!”
“I shot you!”
“No you didn’t. You missed me by a mile!”
(He was lying. I really did get him).
You found a stick and it became your gun, or your sword or whatever. And we played.
But these two girls? They never actually got around to “playing”. They just sat there talking about it! Good grief, if I had recorded the entire ordeal, we would have a script for a daytime soap to last at least a week! I just don’t understand where that stuff comes from.
Certainly not from me!
That same year, my daughter’s mother and I had been married for 16 years. So, on our anniversary I took her out to a nice romantic dinner, real table cloths, cloth napkins, the waiter wore a tie, we went dancing and had a wonderful romantic evening.
We had arranged for the kids to stay at the grandparents house, so when we got home that night, we got ready for bed, she slid in under the sheets, snuggled up real close, and with a soft sweet voice, said,
“Oh Honey. This evening was wonderful. Dinner was perfect and you danced divinely.
And now…
And now....
pretend that we were just intimate and pretend it was really great and pretend you’re really tired and pretend that…..”
(Have I mentioned that this woman is now my ex-wife?)
Daddy?
Kids really make you think, don’t they? Things change over time but I guess we dads just don’t notice it. For instance, when your kids are small, you are their hero. No matter what, those kids love spending time with “Daddy”.
Up until about the age of 10, you are Daddy.
During those junior high years, you somehow become just “Dad”.
Halfway through high school you hear them tell their friends “Hey, gotta go. There’s my ride.”
(So now I’m just their ride?)
When they get into college its “Dude, do you mind? My friends are here!”
I suppose the next time I get a name change, she’ll be calling me “Gramps”, or something.
One of the greatest sounds I know of is when I hear my children say, “I love you, Daddy.”
I sure do miss those days of being called “Daddy”.
You know what I’ve noticed?
You just can’t say the word “Daddy” without the sound of love in your voice. Maybe that’s why the Bible refers to God, our Heavenly Father, as “Abba”. Abba means “Daddy”. And that’s how God wants us to be when we speak to Him. Even Jesus referred to God as “Daddy”.
The Bible says we are to be child-like in our faith, so when we talk to God, it is okay to call Him “Daddy”.
After all, who else can you trust more than Daddy? Daddy is there to protect you, comfort you and take care of you. In your greatest time of need, you can always count on Daddy.
I enjoy spending time with my “Abba, Daddy”.
Blessings....
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Whooda Thunk It?
That Chick Over There from Jason. For the Love of God surprised me with this today..
That is so cool! Thanks Chick!Here’s what she had to say about me on her blog…..
1) Alpha Dude at The World Observed by Me. I have no idea how this Dude found my website, but I'm very glad he did. Probably he was searching for the word God, because he loves God and Jesus and stuff. But anyway, I'm very glad he did find me because I love to read his website. He's lived a really amazing life and he and I are a lot alike in a lot of ways. The good ways, not the freaky psycho ways that I tend to bring to the party.
Does she Rock the Party, or what? I’m not sure how I found her site either, but I’m sure glad I did. She has a way of telling things that really make you think as well as laugh until it hurts. A visit to Chick’s site is always worth the trip.
In accepting this award, I get to choose 5 blogs that I would also like to present this award to. Choosing the 5 isn’t easy since all of the amazing people on my blogroll (I think that’s what you call those friends listed on my sidebar) are folks who make me think. Each one in a different way, but they’re all awesome, which is why they are there. So, after much thought, my 5 five nominees are listed below, in no particular order. If you don’t see your name there, please do not be offended, this hasn’t been easy (it required way too much thought).
1) Dr. John Linna of Dr. John’s Fortress. This guy is a good man who is always trying to help people out. He has a great sense of humor and has a thought provoking saying to share every day. I enjoy each visit to Pigeon Falls.
2) Gerbil at There’s a Penguin on the Telly. This gal can take normal every day happenings and present it in such a way that leaves you laughing, feeling her feelings or just sitting there saying, “Huh?”. Always a pleasant visit.
3) Terri at My4Kids. Terri and her husband Kelly are raising four kids in the Pacific Northwest and are getting ready to move to Alaska! She tells it like it is and seems to me to be a lot of fun. They have a son named Joshua, as do I, and I think that makes them pretty cool people.
4) Real Life in South Carolina. I don’t know her real name, but her husband has the coolest name! This amazing lady is raising 5 children and lives to tell us about it almost every day. She is a great mom even if some days she doesn’t think so. She learns things on her daily adventures and I appreciate her for letting us in on the lesson learned. She and her husband Scott (see, I told you he has a cool name) also have a son named Joshua. Awesome.
5) Katrina A. from Transplanted and Growing. She is the real deal and isn’t afraid to admit that she is human. She is truly blessed by God and takes the time to share with us what she has learned, even when the lesson isn’t easy admit or share.
These are also people that I think would make for awesome neighbors. Can you imagine if we all (Chick and Jason, too) lived near the end of the same cul-de-sac? What an awesome neighborhood that would be!
Congratulations, you’ve won a 
!
Should you choose to participate, please make sure you pass this list of rules to the blogs you are tagging.
The participation rules are simple:
1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of this prestigious award,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote.
Thank you all for being a part of my life.
Blessings to you.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Why Do People Cheat?
My grandfather told me that the smart guy learns from watching others. So here's some of what I've learned from the men's ministries I've been involved in through the years...........
Why is it, that, when someone is married to someone who is very good-looking, and nice, do they still find themselves with the urge to explore a relationship with someone else?
Sometimes this just doesn’t make sense. I mean, a guy who is successful, has a gorgeous, loving wife at home who takes good care of him and the kids and the home, still searches the internet for someone else willing for meaningless sex? Why would he do that? (another question is why would some woman subject herself to a man like that. But that’s something we’ll explore later).
The answer, I believe, is quite simple. Most times, when people stray, the person(s) they stray with are somewhat less appealing than their spouses. You see, people who stray aren’t looking for something better, they’re just looking for “something”. Anything, actually. There is something missing at home that they are not getting.
We get busy with our lives, fall into a rut with our day to day activities, and we tend to forget those little things that used to be so incredibly important to us. Intimacy. Now, I’m not talking about sex here, although that does contribute heavily at times. Remember when you used to go for walks together? Spend time together doing nothing, just talking? Or maybe even just hanging out together, whatever it took to just be near each other, with those occasional loving glances you used to give each other, then smile and blush and you just knew there was someone nearby that loves you more than anything.
What happened? Where did that go? Those romantic times become fewer and fewer, and those moments seem to happen less often until one day, you realize that you are now only living with someone you just feel “comfortable” with. You drift further and further apart.
Well, guess what? People still need that intimacy! We all still need that closeness, that “oneness”, that loving feeling we get when your mate gives you that special look, or just takes the time to talk to you. Why do people stop talking to each other? For whatever reason, stop it. Get back to where you once were. Rekindle that flame. Re-ignite that spark. Fall in love all over again. Remember, it isn’t just about sex, although that does play a big part. If your spouse isn’t getting what they need from you, they just may start looking elsewhere. We all have needs, and those needs need to be filled.
The long and short of it is this: People get comfortable, fall into a rut, get bored. But these same people have needs and wants and desires. If you won’t fulfill their needs, they’ll find someone else who can, or is just willing to. The Bible tells to fulfill each other’s needs, so that when you are apart, you will not be tempted. There, you see? God already knew about this!
I know it is difficult for most guys to open up and share their feelings, but come on guys! This is your wife we’re talking about! She’s a part of you! Share yourself with her!
Ladies, take care of your husbands, so they never want for anything or anyone else! Yes, it may be difficult for some of you. So guys, give her good reason to WANT to take care of your needs. Treat her well, and give her good reasons to respect you. (Just try being NICE to each other).
Here’s an idea……try having an affair………with your spouse! Re-kindle that excitement.
Spend some time together, talk. I mean really talk. Not just about your day and daily issues, but about your feelings you had that day. When you got married you became one with your spouse, right?
So start acting like it.
Just 15 minutes a day, every day. That’s all you need to get started. Just 15 minutes a day. Make a little time for each other and just….talk.
The rest is up to you.
******Added for Clarification*******
As usual, this article is aimed at trying to get the reader to think. Not what to think or how to think, but to think. How does this subject apply to your own life? This article can be read or taken in different ways, and apparently it has been.
I did not mean in any way to imply that it is okay to blame someone else for your own foolish choices. What I've shared here are things I've learned from listening to people who were actually involved in such activities. What I didn't say was that these individuals learned from their mistakes and realized that they had made their own foolish choices. Each one understands now that they should have openly told their spouse how they felt at the time. Some spouses forgave, reconciled the marriage and moved forward. Some didn't. But that wasn't the point. The point was to try to get people to see themselves and stop any potentially damaging activity before it has a chance to develop.
But you see, the enemy (devil) likes to work his way in very slowly so we usually don't recognize that it is him trying to influence our lives. Once a person is involved in some kind of sin (porn, chat rooms, etc...) their first reaction is to try to hide it. Things get progressively worse as we delve deeper into the sin.
The Bible tells us that a husband no longer belongs to himself, but to his wife. And the wife, in the same way, now belongs to her husband. It also says we are not to neglect our spouse (in any way) so that when you're apart, you will not be tempted. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
But in the end, as Tracey pointed out, we are all responsible for our own actions.
So take some time to just stop and think. The rest is still up to you.
Why is it, that, when someone is married to someone who is very good-looking, and nice, do they still find themselves with the urge to explore a relationship with someone else?
Sometimes this just doesn’t make sense. I mean, a guy who is successful, has a gorgeous, loving wife at home who takes good care of him and the kids and the home, still searches the internet for someone else willing for meaningless sex? Why would he do that? (another question is why would some woman subject herself to a man like that. But that’s something we’ll explore later).
The answer, I believe, is quite simple. Most times, when people stray, the person(s) they stray with are somewhat less appealing than their spouses. You see, people who stray aren’t looking for something better, they’re just looking for “something”. Anything, actually. There is something missing at home that they are not getting.
We get busy with our lives, fall into a rut with our day to day activities, and we tend to forget those little things that used to be so incredibly important to us. Intimacy. Now, I’m not talking about sex here, although that does contribute heavily at times. Remember when you used to go for walks together? Spend time together doing nothing, just talking? Or maybe even just hanging out together, whatever it took to just be near each other, with those occasional loving glances you used to give each other, then smile and blush and you just knew there was someone nearby that loves you more than anything.
What happened? Where did that go? Those romantic times become fewer and fewer, and those moments seem to happen less often until one day, you realize that you are now only living with someone you just feel “comfortable” with. You drift further and further apart.
Well, guess what? People still need that intimacy! We all still need that closeness, that “oneness”, that loving feeling we get when your mate gives you that special look, or just takes the time to talk to you. Why do people stop talking to each other? For whatever reason, stop it. Get back to where you once were. Rekindle that flame. Re-ignite that spark. Fall in love all over again. Remember, it isn’t just about sex, although that does play a big part. If your spouse isn’t getting what they need from you, they just may start looking elsewhere. We all have needs, and those needs need to be filled.
The long and short of it is this: People get comfortable, fall into a rut, get bored. But these same people have needs and wants and desires. If you won’t fulfill their needs, they’ll find someone else who can, or is just willing to. The Bible tells to fulfill each other’s needs, so that when you are apart, you will not be tempted. There, you see? God already knew about this!
I know it is difficult for most guys to open up and share their feelings, but come on guys! This is your wife we’re talking about! She’s a part of you! Share yourself with her!
Ladies, take care of your husbands, so they never want for anything or anyone else! Yes, it may be difficult for some of you. So guys, give her good reason to WANT to take care of your needs. Treat her well, and give her good reasons to respect you. (Just try being NICE to each other).
Here’s an idea……try having an affair………with your spouse! Re-kindle that excitement.
Spend some time together, talk. I mean really talk. Not just about your day and daily issues, but about your feelings you had that day. When you got married you became one with your spouse, right?
So start acting like it.
Just 15 minutes a day, every day. That’s all you need to get started. Just 15 minutes a day. Make a little time for each other and just….talk.
The rest is up to you.
******Added for Clarification*******
As usual, this article is aimed at trying to get the reader to think. Not what to think or how to think, but to think. How does this subject apply to your own life? This article can be read or taken in different ways, and apparently it has been.
I did not mean in any way to imply that it is okay to blame someone else for your own foolish choices. What I've shared here are things I've learned from listening to people who were actually involved in such activities. What I didn't say was that these individuals learned from their mistakes and realized that they had made their own foolish choices. Each one understands now that they should have openly told their spouse how they felt at the time. Some spouses forgave, reconciled the marriage and moved forward. Some didn't. But that wasn't the point. The point was to try to get people to see themselves and stop any potentially damaging activity before it has a chance to develop.
But you see, the enemy (devil) likes to work his way in very slowly so we usually don't recognize that it is him trying to influence our lives. Once a person is involved in some kind of sin (porn, chat rooms, etc...) their first reaction is to try to hide it. Things get progressively worse as we delve deeper into the sin.
The Bible tells us that a husband no longer belongs to himself, but to his wife. And the wife, in the same way, now belongs to her husband. It also says we are not to neglect our spouse (in any way) so that when you're apart, you will not be tempted. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
But in the end, as Tracey pointed out, we are all responsible for our own actions.
So take some time to just stop and think. The rest is still up to you.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Blessed are the Little Dudes (and Dudettes)
Hi, I’m Alpha Dude, but you can just call me ….. uh, well actually, you can call me anything you want. With the people from our church, and there’s a lot of them, I hear the name “Alpha Dude” quite a lot.
“Look Mom, there’s Alpha Dude!”
“Hey, Alpha Dude!”
“Dude!”
“…AAAlphaaaaa Duuuuuude!”
Sometimes this is kind of cool, but you see, Alpha Dude isn’t a real person. He’s just a character I play. I “become” Alpha Dude every Monday night at 7:30. There’s a big round area at the end of the corridor of our children’s wing. The kids (Alpha Sprouts) all gather there, and once everyone is settled in, they begin chanting “Alpha Dude! Alpha Dude! Alpha Dude!.......” until Alpha Dude comes bounding in, greets all the Sprouts and launches into today’s lesson.
Well, last night, the lesson for me, just as much as, if not more than, for the kids. Last night’s lesson was “How does God Guide Us?”
I had made the mistake recently of taking my “job” for granted. I show up, read over the script/lesson plan, do the lesson with the kids, a few high fives and I’m outta there. The last couple of lessons hadn’t gone too well. At least that’s how it felt to me. The kids seemed distracted and I was left wondering if they were getting anything out of it. The director thought that maybe we just have a difficult group of kids this time. I wasn’t too sure about that.
In reading through the lesson plan for last night’s bit, I discovered (or did the Holy Spirit reveal to me?) that I had been forgetting the most important part of what I do.
I forgot to pray.
Ouch.
I had been doing this all by myself and was not allowing God to do His thing, through me. I allowed "me" to get in God's way.
I immediately hit my knees, and asked God to forgive me. I thanked Him for allowing me the opportunity and privilege to touch these children’s lives for Him. I asked Him that the kids would not recognize me so much as they would clearly see Him. Because God is what this is all about. Not some goofy guy in a Hawaiian shirt acting weird and making them laugh. I just asked God to use me and to have the Holy Spirit speak to those children through me.
Wanna know what happened? We had the BEST lesson time I think we’ve ever had! Those kids were so into it. I didn’t forget any part of the lesson plan and we all had a blast! And it was quite clear that each of those kids learned something also.
But see, that’s why I do this in the first place. For those kids. Jesus told His disciples “Let these children come to me, and don’t you forbid them. For the Kingdom of God is made up of such as these.” I love being a part of watching them learn about God and who Jesus is and watching them grow into fine young Christian people. These kids are at that age that we adults can really screw them up if we’re not careful. So I try my best to learn from them as much as they try to learn from me.
And sometimes, these kids can really pull at your heart strings. Last night, one little boy, I’ll call him “dude”, asked if we could pray for his mom who is sick with the flu, and for his dog who has cancer and for his dad who is mean to the dog. So, during our closing prayer, I let “dude” pray (out loud – he asked if he could), and he prayed for his mom to get well “in a couple of weeks” (I interceded silently and asked God to make it more like a day or two) and for his dog and his dad. He hugged me afterwards and said “Thanks Alpha Dude.”
Would you like to see miracles and God’s Grace in your life? Teach your children how to pray and then listen to them when they do it. You will be truly amazed by what you hear.
Before I went home, I approached the Throne of Grace one more time.
This time to say thanks.
Dear Lord, Thank you for speaking to me through this lesson and reminding me why I am here. Please forgive me for the times when I get in Your way by thinking of me first instead of You. Father, I pray that as these children grow up and think back on their days with the Alpha Dude, that what they remember most is not of the silly man, but rather those things he tried so hard to teach them and that their focus turns to You and Your Precious Son.
In Jesus’ Most Awesome Name, Amen.
“Look Mom, there’s Alpha Dude!”
“Hey, Alpha Dude!”
“Dude!”
“…AAAlphaaaaa Duuuuuude!”
Sometimes this is kind of cool, but you see, Alpha Dude isn’t a real person. He’s just a character I play. I “become” Alpha Dude every Monday night at 7:30. There’s a big round area at the end of the corridor of our children’s wing. The kids (Alpha Sprouts) all gather there, and once everyone is settled in, they begin chanting “Alpha Dude! Alpha Dude! Alpha Dude!.......” until Alpha Dude comes bounding in, greets all the Sprouts and launches into today’s lesson.
Well, last night, the lesson for me, just as much as, if not more than, for the kids. Last night’s lesson was “How does God Guide Us?”
I had made the mistake recently of taking my “job” for granted. I show up, read over the script/lesson plan, do the lesson with the kids, a few high fives and I’m outta there. The last couple of lessons hadn’t gone too well. At least that’s how it felt to me. The kids seemed distracted and I was left wondering if they were getting anything out of it. The director thought that maybe we just have a difficult group of kids this time. I wasn’t too sure about that.
In reading through the lesson plan for last night’s bit, I discovered (or did the Holy Spirit reveal to me?) that I had been forgetting the most important part of what I do.
I forgot to pray.
Ouch.
I had been doing this all by myself and was not allowing God to do His thing, through me. I allowed "me" to get in God's way.
I immediately hit my knees, and asked God to forgive me. I thanked Him for allowing me the opportunity and privilege to touch these children’s lives for Him. I asked Him that the kids would not recognize me so much as they would clearly see Him. Because God is what this is all about. Not some goofy guy in a Hawaiian shirt acting weird and making them laugh. I just asked God to use me and to have the Holy Spirit speak to those children through me.
Wanna know what happened? We had the BEST lesson time I think we’ve ever had! Those kids were so into it. I didn’t forget any part of the lesson plan and we all had a blast! And it was quite clear that each of those kids learned something also.
But see, that’s why I do this in the first place. For those kids. Jesus told His disciples “Let these children come to me, and don’t you forbid them. For the Kingdom of God is made up of such as these.” I love being a part of watching them learn about God and who Jesus is and watching them grow into fine young Christian people. These kids are at that age that we adults can really screw them up if we’re not careful. So I try my best to learn from them as much as they try to learn from me.
And sometimes, these kids can really pull at your heart strings. Last night, one little boy, I’ll call him “dude”, asked if we could pray for his mom who is sick with the flu, and for his dog who has cancer and for his dad who is mean to the dog. So, during our closing prayer, I let “dude” pray (out loud – he asked if he could), and he prayed for his mom to get well “in a couple of weeks” (I interceded silently and asked God to make it more like a day or two) and for his dog and his dad. He hugged me afterwards and said “Thanks Alpha Dude.”
Would you like to see miracles and God’s Grace in your life? Teach your children how to pray and then listen to them when they do it. You will be truly amazed by what you hear.
Before I went home, I approached the Throne of Grace one more time.
This time to say thanks.
Dear Lord, Thank you for speaking to me through this lesson and reminding me why I am here. Please forgive me for the times when I get in Your way by thinking of me first instead of You. Father, I pray that as these children grow up and think back on their days with the Alpha Dude, that what they remember most is not of the silly man, but rather those things he tried so hard to teach them and that their focus turns to You and Your Precious Son.
In Jesus’ Most Awesome Name, Amen.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Is It Worth It?
Before you read this, please understand that statements and thoughts made pertaining to particular situations are my own. Everyone has their own reasons for what they do and why they do it. I am not condemning anyone for believing differently. I mean no offense to anyone.
It was a long time ago. In the early Fall of 2004, actually, but it seems much longer than that.
It was a Friday afternoon, and no one else was at home. My work schedule was such that, every Friday, most of us went home at noon. So I was the only one home. The kids were at school, and I have no idea where my wife was. Gone, somewhere, as usual. She managed to keep herself quite busy. At least, she didn’t have time for me, that’s for sure. Perhaps this was one of the reasons for what I was feeling that day.
Despair. Depressed. Unloved. Unwanted. Unappreciated. Lonely.
So, I just sat there, on the edge of my bed in my bedroom. Holding that .380 in my hand. The clip held 5 rounds, and it was full. I knew I’d only need one, and would only be able to use just the one. But the clip was full anyway. It just seemed like the thing to do.
I held it in my hand, and while resting my elbows on my knees, pressed the barrel just under my chin. One shot, that’s all it would take. I thought how convenient it was that all I had to use was that .380. Just enough to do the job, without the messiness of a larger caliber.
The .380 was given to me by my older brother several years ago, right after our house had been broken into. He thought we could use the protection. I’d never owned a firearm before. Didn’t need one. With my extensive martial arts training, I didn’t have much use for one. Until now.
As I sat there, holding the gun, playing with it and pressing it to my skin, I thought how easy it would be, to just be rid of all the feelings, pains and heartaches, and the crap of the world. Just one little “pop”, and I’d be face to face with Jesus. That thought appealed to me.
Then I started thinking about the people I knew of who had dealt with their own problems this very same way. I reminded myself how I felt about what they did. My feelings had always been that suicide was the coward’s way out. It meant you are weak, not strong enough to see things through and work it out. Well, you know something? That just isn’t me.
I also thought about my family. Is this how I want my children to find me? Is this how I want them to remember me? No, I don’t. I decided I wanted to see my son grow into a man, and step out into the world as an adult, and to be there to assist him when, or if, he needs help. I had been singing with the church choir for several years, sang on the worship teams, too. I had often thought about how much I would love to sing at my daughter’s wedding someday. “Butterfly Kisses” was our song. I would love to sing that for her on her special day. How could I possibly miss that? There was so much to look forward to, but so much to run from. And I was running.
My marriage was ending. I knew that. I had seen it coming for several years. I just didn’t know exactly when it would happen. I had done all I could think of to make it work. I tried everything. I read every book I could find on marriage and fatherhood, books by Gary Smalley, Tim LaHaye, Josh McDowell, Dave Simmons, Bill Hybels, Steve Farrar, etc. I went to seminars, meetings, bible studies, anything to learn how to become a better husband and father. I actually applied all that I had learned. I learned and I grew, and I changed, I felt, for the better. My desire was to be the man God wanted me to be. For my kids and for my wife. I felt no love for my wife. I hadn’t for a long time. I tried, but it was getting harder and harder to do all the time. She had done enough over the years to squelch any feelings for her I may have had years ago. But that’s another story. The bible doesn’t say I have to be in love with my wife, just that I am to treat her in a loving way. I did that. I tried as hard as I could to love her, but it is difficult when the one you are trying so hard to love, refuses to receive it from you (by the way – that last statement has nothing to do with sex). I used to bring her flowers for no reason, and hide notes and cards for her all around the house. It wasn’t enough for her, nothing worked. It was somewhat disheartening to come home and find those flowers and cards in the trash can, on the same day I gave them to her.
She refused to acknowledge me or my accomplishments, or my efforts. She refused to offer me even the slightest bit of affirmation. She had no respect for me what-so-ever. (She actually told me that). She continuously talked me down to family and friends, whether I was around, or not. There was no pleasing her. Her actions and words told me that I couldn’t do anything well enough for her, that I did not matter to her and that I didn’t make enough money for her. She basically just didn’t like me at all. True or not – that’s how she made me feel. So, I was wanting out. Way out.
Then I also realized – I am none of those things she was making me out to be. I’m better than that. Besides, she isn’t worth killing myself over. In any sense of the word.
Like I said, I knew the marriage would end soon. I just didn’t yet know the details. My own wife refused to talk to me or spend any time with me. She had actually told me that she and the kids would be better off if I wasn’t around at all. So I started spending more time playing golf, working out at the gym, and nurturing friendships from work and church. I had survived a gun-shot wound to the face back in 1982, and my pastor had told me that God must have a major plan for my life.
Still sitting there, gun in hand, I thought about what that pastor had said. Did God have something special in store for me? If so, I’d never find out what it is if I pull that trigger. Besides, I had worked way too hard on myself to just throw it all away now. So I put the gun back in a box and hid it in the garage. I put it in a place where no one (especially the kids) could find it or reach it.
My wife finally divorced me. She said she thought it would be a good idea if we lived apart for awhile and asked me to move out. So I did, and she had me served on that very day. Remember – she had said she refused to get an attorney, and refused to be the one to file for a divorce. I guess I was just slow learner when it comes to her.
Close friends that knew her well told me she had been planning it for a long time. She just needed an excuse. She accused me of having an affair, threw me out of the house, and filed for divorce. There was no room for discussion. Her mind was already made up. There was no affair. I started eating right, working out, losing weight, trying to make myself more appealing to my wife. I changed my outlook on life and trusted God more and decided to have a positive attitude about things. As a result, I became a much happier person. Losing 40 pounds in 4 months helped too. But none of that mattered. Because I lost so much weight in such a short period of time and seemed happy all the time, I was accused of doing drugs and running around. None of which was true. My ex-wife just needed an excuse and she now had all she needed. She even concocted some rather horrendous stories to back up her claims. People (who should know better) actually believed her outrageous lies.
Throughout the entire marriage my family, my parents mostly, couldn’t understand why I stayed married to such a person for so long. The answer is simply that the Bible gives us strict guidelines for marriage and divorce. So for “better or for worse”, I was sticking to it. My mother often told of how she could have handled raising 10 more kids like me, saying I was the good kid and was so easy to raise (I can only imagine how this made my brother and sister feel). Both of my parents had even said that I was the only one of us kids that could be fully trusted. It was always like that (if you want the truth about anything, just ask Alpha Dude). They had even gone so far as to let it be known that they did not trust my children’s mother at all. “She’s sneaky and dishonest”, my mother would say. But all that was about to change.
In her trial brief presented at the divorce hearing, I finally learned what my now ex-wife had been telling everyone. This woman had, by this time, run up a debt in excess of $125,000 (using credit she acquired in my name without me knowing about it), sold my horse and kept the money (they used to hang people for that, didn’t they?), emptied our savings account (and accused me of stealing it) and told scores of other untruths and fabrications. Her trial brief was 9 pages long and each page contained stories of things that she herself had actually done, but was now blaming me for each one. The really weird part? The courts and my own family believed her! They bought into all of it! I had presented the judge with a stack of documented proof of the truth. The court wouldn’t even look at it. Apparently, in California, they believe the mother/wife and turn against the father/husband. If you’re the guy, you are automatically considered guilty. All I could do was just sit there, wide-eyed and dumbfounded. I just couldn't believe this was happening.
Later, I found a scripture in my daily morning devotional. It sure makes sense, but it doesn’t make things easier to swallow.
Ecclesiastes 8:14-15
14And this is not all that is meaningless in our world. In this life, good people are often treated as though they were wicked, and wicked people are often treated as though they were good. This is so meaningless!15So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people to do in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them.
Wow. Solomon really knew what he was talking about!
Eventually, work opportunities took me to the mid-west. I accepted the job since my parents had turned against me by this time. I could not speak to them about anything without some sort of jab from them and they’ve said some rather horrible and hurtful things to me about things they really don’t know about. Remember all those years of building such an awesome relationship with my step-dad? Gone. The relationships and trust I had with my entire family had been completely destroyed. I also wasn’t allowed the visitation the courts gave me. My children’s mother ignored the court order and the authorities didn’t seem to care. I figured I could fly out to see them every month or two, since that’s all their mother would allow anyway. Yeah, I was wrong about that too. Now she’s moved to a different house with my daughter, never told me about the move, and refuses to tell me where they now live. She also interferes and prevents phone calls with my daughter as much as possible. There is no reason for this!
Some may say that I still lost everything. My ex-wife took it all. The house, the furniture, the money (she emptied our savings and ran up credit debt in excess of $125,000), and the kids (that is the hardest part). I was lucky to escape wearing my own skin. My credit score went to crap!
And you know something? God is still on the throne. He is the One who is in control of my life. The perfect woman is out there somewhere (perfect for me, anyway), and God knows who she is, and He knows where she is. So I believe the smart thing for me to do is to get as close to God as I can, and when He is ready He will reveal to me who she is. Until then, I will wait on His perfect timing.
So – is it worth killing yourself (committing suicide) to escape your problems?
No, it isn’t. It is just a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And, it is selfish.
Is it worth it to have everything stripped away, to be punished and condemned for something you didn’t do?
Yes, it is. Because God’s blessing is waiting for you at the end. (If you have trouble believing that, just look what Jesus did for us at the cross).
I still miss my kids terribly. I look at their pictures and ache for them every day.
Maybe someday their mother will stop interfering with the visitations and allow me to actually spend some time with them.
It was a long time ago. In the early Fall of 2004, actually, but it seems much longer than that.
It was a Friday afternoon, and no one else was at home. My work schedule was such that, every Friday, most of us went home at noon. So I was the only one home. The kids were at school, and I have no idea where my wife was. Gone, somewhere, as usual. She managed to keep herself quite busy. At least, she didn’t have time for me, that’s for sure. Perhaps this was one of the reasons for what I was feeling that day.
Despair. Depressed. Unloved. Unwanted. Unappreciated. Lonely.
So, I just sat there, on the edge of my bed in my bedroom. Holding that .380 in my hand. The clip held 5 rounds, and it was full. I knew I’d only need one, and would only be able to use just the one. But the clip was full anyway. It just seemed like the thing to do.
I held it in my hand, and while resting my elbows on my knees, pressed the barrel just under my chin. One shot, that’s all it would take. I thought how convenient it was that all I had to use was that .380. Just enough to do the job, without the messiness of a larger caliber.
The .380 was given to me by my older brother several years ago, right after our house had been broken into. He thought we could use the protection. I’d never owned a firearm before. Didn’t need one. With my extensive martial arts training, I didn’t have much use for one. Until now.
As I sat there, holding the gun, playing with it and pressing it to my skin, I thought how easy it would be, to just be rid of all the feelings, pains and heartaches, and the crap of the world. Just one little “pop”, and I’d be face to face with Jesus. That thought appealed to me.
Then I started thinking about the people I knew of who had dealt with their own problems this very same way. I reminded myself how I felt about what they did. My feelings had always been that suicide was the coward’s way out. It meant you are weak, not strong enough to see things through and work it out. Well, you know something? That just isn’t me.
I also thought about my family. Is this how I want my children to find me? Is this how I want them to remember me? No, I don’t. I decided I wanted to see my son grow into a man, and step out into the world as an adult, and to be there to assist him when, or if, he needs help. I had been singing with the church choir for several years, sang on the worship teams, too. I had often thought about how much I would love to sing at my daughter’s wedding someday. “Butterfly Kisses” was our song. I would love to sing that for her on her special day. How could I possibly miss that? There was so much to look forward to, but so much to run from. And I was running.
My marriage was ending. I knew that. I had seen it coming for several years. I just didn’t know exactly when it would happen. I had done all I could think of to make it work. I tried everything. I read every book I could find on marriage and fatherhood, books by Gary Smalley, Tim LaHaye, Josh McDowell, Dave Simmons, Bill Hybels, Steve Farrar, etc. I went to seminars, meetings, bible studies, anything to learn how to become a better husband and father. I actually applied all that I had learned. I learned and I grew, and I changed, I felt, for the better. My desire was to be the man God wanted me to be. For my kids and for my wife. I felt no love for my wife. I hadn’t for a long time. I tried, but it was getting harder and harder to do all the time. She had done enough over the years to squelch any feelings for her I may have had years ago. But that’s another story. The bible doesn’t say I have to be in love with my wife, just that I am to treat her in a loving way. I did that. I tried as hard as I could to love her, but it is difficult when the one you are trying so hard to love, refuses to receive it from you (by the way – that last statement has nothing to do with sex). I used to bring her flowers for no reason, and hide notes and cards for her all around the house. It wasn’t enough for her, nothing worked. It was somewhat disheartening to come home and find those flowers and cards in the trash can, on the same day I gave them to her.
She refused to acknowledge me or my accomplishments, or my efforts. She refused to offer me even the slightest bit of affirmation. She had no respect for me what-so-ever. (She actually told me that). She continuously talked me down to family and friends, whether I was around, or not. There was no pleasing her. Her actions and words told me that I couldn’t do anything well enough for her, that I did not matter to her and that I didn’t make enough money for her. She basically just didn’t like me at all. True or not – that’s how she made me feel. So, I was wanting out. Way out.
Then I also realized – I am none of those things she was making me out to be. I’m better than that. Besides, she isn’t worth killing myself over. In any sense of the word.
Like I said, I knew the marriage would end soon. I just didn’t yet know the details. My own wife refused to talk to me or spend any time with me. She had actually told me that she and the kids would be better off if I wasn’t around at all. So I started spending more time playing golf, working out at the gym, and nurturing friendships from work and church. I had survived a gun-shot wound to the face back in 1982, and my pastor had told me that God must have a major plan for my life.
Still sitting there, gun in hand, I thought about what that pastor had said. Did God have something special in store for me? If so, I’d never find out what it is if I pull that trigger. Besides, I had worked way too hard on myself to just throw it all away now. So I put the gun back in a box and hid it in the garage. I put it in a place where no one (especially the kids) could find it or reach it.
My wife finally divorced me. She said she thought it would be a good idea if we lived apart for awhile and asked me to move out. So I did, and she had me served on that very day. Remember – she had said she refused to get an attorney, and refused to be the one to file for a divorce. I guess I was just slow learner when it comes to her.
Close friends that knew her well told me she had been planning it for a long time. She just needed an excuse. She accused me of having an affair, threw me out of the house, and filed for divorce. There was no room for discussion. Her mind was already made up. There was no affair. I started eating right, working out, losing weight, trying to make myself more appealing to my wife. I changed my outlook on life and trusted God more and decided to have a positive attitude about things. As a result, I became a much happier person. Losing 40 pounds in 4 months helped too. But none of that mattered. Because I lost so much weight in such a short period of time and seemed happy all the time, I was accused of doing drugs and running around. None of which was true. My ex-wife just needed an excuse and she now had all she needed. She even concocted some rather horrendous stories to back up her claims. People (who should know better) actually believed her outrageous lies.
Throughout the entire marriage my family, my parents mostly, couldn’t understand why I stayed married to such a person for so long. The answer is simply that the Bible gives us strict guidelines for marriage and divorce. So for “better or for worse”, I was sticking to it. My mother often told of how she could have handled raising 10 more kids like me, saying I was the good kid and was so easy to raise (I can only imagine how this made my brother and sister feel). Both of my parents had even said that I was the only one of us kids that could be fully trusted. It was always like that (if you want the truth about anything, just ask Alpha Dude). They had even gone so far as to let it be known that they did not trust my children’s mother at all. “She’s sneaky and dishonest”, my mother would say. But all that was about to change.
In her trial brief presented at the divorce hearing, I finally learned what my now ex-wife had been telling everyone. This woman had, by this time, run up a debt in excess of $125,000 (using credit she acquired in my name without me knowing about it), sold my horse and kept the money (they used to hang people for that, didn’t they?), emptied our savings account (and accused me of stealing it) and told scores of other untruths and fabrications. Her trial brief was 9 pages long and each page contained stories of things that she herself had actually done, but was now blaming me for each one. The really weird part? The courts and my own family believed her! They bought into all of it! I had presented the judge with a stack of documented proof of the truth. The court wouldn’t even look at it. Apparently, in California, they believe the mother/wife and turn against the father/husband. If you’re the guy, you are automatically considered guilty. All I could do was just sit there, wide-eyed and dumbfounded. I just couldn't believe this was happening.
Later, I found a scripture in my daily morning devotional. It sure makes sense, but it doesn’t make things easier to swallow.
Ecclesiastes 8:14-15
14And this is not all that is meaningless in our world. In this life, good people are often treated as though they were wicked, and wicked people are often treated as though they were good. This is so meaningless!15So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people to do in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them.
Wow. Solomon really knew what he was talking about!
Eventually, work opportunities took me to the mid-west. I accepted the job since my parents had turned against me by this time. I could not speak to them about anything without some sort of jab from them and they’ve said some rather horrible and hurtful things to me about things they really don’t know about. Remember all those years of building such an awesome relationship with my step-dad? Gone. The relationships and trust I had with my entire family had been completely destroyed. I also wasn’t allowed the visitation the courts gave me. My children’s mother ignored the court order and the authorities didn’t seem to care. I figured I could fly out to see them every month or two, since that’s all their mother would allow anyway. Yeah, I was wrong about that too. Now she’s moved to a different house with my daughter, never told me about the move, and refuses to tell me where they now live. She also interferes and prevents phone calls with my daughter as much as possible. There is no reason for this!
Some may say that I still lost everything. My ex-wife took it all. The house, the furniture, the money (she emptied our savings and ran up credit debt in excess of $125,000), and the kids (that is the hardest part). I was lucky to escape wearing my own skin. My credit score went to crap!
And you know something? God is still on the throne. He is the One who is in control of my life. The perfect woman is out there somewhere (perfect for me, anyway), and God knows who she is, and He knows where she is. So I believe the smart thing for me to do is to get as close to God as I can, and when He is ready He will reveal to me who she is. Until then, I will wait on His perfect timing.
So – is it worth killing yourself (committing suicide) to escape your problems?
No, it isn’t. It is just a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And, it is selfish.
Is it worth it to have everything stripped away, to be punished and condemned for something you didn’t do?
Yes, it is. Because God’s blessing is waiting for you at the end. (If you have trouble believing that, just look what Jesus did for us at the cross).
I still miss my kids terribly. I look at their pictures and ache for them every day.
Maybe someday their mother will stop interfering with the visitations and allow me to actually spend some time with them.
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